


i’ll never love again

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:48:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26191435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Maybe if he reached out, attempted to talk to him, called him and told him all the parts of Kiyoomi that had grown accustomed to having him in his life, and how he can probably only love once in his life and never again, then things might have turned out differently.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 35





	i’ll never love again

**Author's Note:**

> i love sakuatsu a fuckton, sadly.

Maybe if he reached out, attempted to talk to him, called him and told him all the parts of Kiyoomi that had grown accustomed to having him in his life, and how he can probably only love once in his life and never again, then things might have turned out differently.

How seeing him in morning practices were enough reason for Kiyoomi to wake up earlier than he’s used to so he can have more time subtly looking his way, observing the small nuances like how the rays of the morning sun seem to highlight his blond waves a bit more, or how his brows were always tightly knit when he’s yet to adjust to his brain’s functional levels. How he always seemed to have a grin plastered on his face, and that his smiles were enough for Kiyoomi to last a whole day of grueling practice.

Kiyoomi would sometimes lift his hand when he was far away, talking to their coach or doing his extra stretches, and he tried to imagine what it would be like to hold his hand, and maybe give a small kiss to it, a warm kiss to his forehead after, and he imagined how soft his lips would be, under his own chapped ones. 

He could only imagine, really, what is was to be able to confidently love someone like him.

Kiyoomi used to think loving someone like Miya Atsumu from afar was enough, but then one day, suddenly, it wasn’t.

Not when Miya Atsumu will never come to morning practices anymore, when he will never have the sun’s majestic light gracing upon his features after this, when there won’t be angry grunts anymore after making faulty tosses early into practice; not when there won’t be teasing grins that Kiyoomi ignored every practice the day after onwards, along with the fluttering of his heart he always stomped down with his feelings.

As he leaves a single stem of baby breath by his urn, he thinks of all the hows, the whys, and the what ifs. 

And maybe, just maybe, he thinks of how Miya Atsumu could have loved him back. But Sakusa Kiyoomi, with all his love and affection and unsaid promises and unending devotion, can only bid goodbye to the bright smile framed beside Miya Atsumu’s name, and brings his regret all the way until the next time they meet again.

Perhps he is just destined to never love again.


End file.
